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...On Lectures vs. Hugs... (One Thought Thursday 040)
Published 2 months ago • 3 min read
"Never give a lecture to someone who just needs a hug." unknown
This principle applies in a variety of life circumstances: in parenting, in friendship, and (definitely!) in teaching.
Sometimes our students need a strong dose of truth-talk, but other times, responding with simple compassion is the ticket to progress. The art is in "reading the room" to decide which is necessary.
Here's a scene from my studio this past Monday evening:
Our local festival is less than two weeks away.
One student begins playing her piece for me and it is clear she is drastically un-prepared.
I feel the steam start to accumulate between my ears and am sure I'm about to explode. I open my mouth to tell her we're in trouble here...
...but I just happen to catch a small reflection in her eye: A tear is forming.
This student - who usually requires a very direct style of communication - did not need a lecture in this moment. She needed to feel safe and supported.
I've replayed this scene in my head multiple times this week. I know I narrowly-avoided a reaction to this student's struggles that might have had lasting impact.
I am grateful I saw the formation of that tear.
It dawned on me that I hadn't seen her for two weeks because her family has been dealing with extenuating circumstances. Even though I'd been communicating memory deadlines, etc. with her family, sometimes life just gets in the way. Especially when you're 10 years old.
So much of teaching is providing the energy a student needs. When they are panicky, we must remain calm. When they are TOO "chill", we need to help draw their attention to important matters at hand.
On Monday, I quickly recognized it was my student's turn to be panicky, so I needed to make an abrupt change to my approach.
...and, guess what? We got her back on track and she sounds great.
I have not always been so attuned to the energy of a room, but am (thankfully! getting better.
I hope this helps you remember nothing good comes from meeting a student's frustrated energy with more frustration.
Remaining focused on our student's communication; rather than what's going on inside our own minds, is one of the cornerstones of TeacherMagic.
🥂Cheers to discerning when a student needs a lecture, and when they just need a hug. 🥂
I went BIG on this week's show and talked about my latest ponderances around the word POTENTIAL. I have to wonder; when did we get so hung up on determining someone's "potential"? It's a primary stumbling block for teachers; often leading to discouragement when someone's "potential" is unrealized.
As always, I hope this week's episode helps you feel more empowered to teach the student who shows up, regardless of how much possibility you can see for them in the here-and-now.
If you find $3 or $6 worth of value in the work I provide, please consider joining the Patreon Community.
As pure bonus, my group over there is a collective of THE BEST-HEARTED teachers around.
If you want to be an artist who supports other artists, while connecting with teachers who are sincere in their efforts to be their very best Teacher Selves, this is the move for you.
These pieces depict their intended characters in a brilliant way. There is a little bit of everything here for early intermediate players (and lots of tunes to get stuck inside your Teacher Ears all week).
As the saying goes, the best time to have read this book was yesterday. The next-best-time is now. I will always be thankful for the gift of words found in these pages.
If you ever struggle with questions of "is my method the problem?" or, "is it me?"
I have good news for you.
Check out this resource, which helps reframe the true role of a method series in your teaching. It also provides you with an essential exercise to make sure YOU are the true leader of your instruction.
*This email may contain affiliate links. That's just smart business, but please know all recommendations are purely my own, and are absent of any icky ulterior sales motives.
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